We always hear from the successful business folks and life coaches to focus on the future and do not dwell in the past. However, I do not believe that is entirely accurate. Jesse Ventura was quoted as “Learn from history or you’re doomed to repeat it.” Without reflection, how can we possibly learn from our mistakes, our triumphs or our shortcuts? Reflection when thought about properly and regularly is a huge tool for growth. To be able to map in our minds the events and situations that lead us to our current destination of life’s journey is crucial to navigating the next set of years of our lives.
Reflection takes practice. It does not come natural. We must slowly train our minds to reflect. Whether you use quiet meditation, grateful prayer or serious careful thought, the art of reflection is an important part of success and must be practiced regularly. Reflection is the main component of self-learning. We all know experience is the best teacher. Looking at a picture of fire and being told it is hot, don’t touch, is not nearly as effective as sticking your hand in fire and learning the lesson of how hot fire really is.
Try this exercise, in a quiet space and time clear your mind for reflection. Ask yourself the questions of how you got to your current destination and situation. Then begin to think backwards every event, person or situation that lead you to this current place. The longer and harder you think about these situations the better. Soon you will realize some of the worst, painful or embarrassing situations were the very things that forced you to take a different action they lead you to where you are today. One of my favorite quotes from Albert Einstein is his definition of insanity. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Sometimes it is those painful situations that makes us change and get out of this senseless rut. I subscribe that a rut is simply a grave with the ends kicked out.
The most important lesson of self-reflection is that we realize everything happens between our ears. We are creators. We are responsible for every issue, problem, success or situation we have ever had. We attract like a giant magnet. Most people believe everything is just random or they are being rewarded or punished by God or the Devil or whoever. It is very liberating to learn and accept everything in our lives, we create. Once you accept it, then you and only you can change it by changing the way you think about things. It all begins with reflection. Start practicing reflection of your life today.
“By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest”. —Confucius
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Tim Wilhoit is owner/principal of Your Friend 4 Life Insurance Agency in Nashville, TN. He is a family man, father of 3, grandfather of 1, entrepreneur, insurance agent, life insurance broker, employee benefit specialist, salesman, sales trainer, recruiter, public speaker, blogger, author and team leader with over 29 years of experience in sales and marketing in the insurance and beverage industries.
Tim – As always, thanks for your contribution. Not to be the cynic, but I believe many people do not reflect back because they do not like what they see!
Phil, I believe that to be true more often than not.
For example one is diagnosed with cancer
What is the next step?
Don, I certainly hope it is just example. But I believe reflection can be used in a cancer diagnosis situation. Reflecting on the toughest most difficult time in your life. A time when you thought there was no way out. How you felt, what you did and where you went can be helpful when facing the next most difficult thing in your life like cancer. Most oncologist would agree, attitude is so very important to one’s outcome when battling cancer. I believe reflection is a useful tool when it comes to attitude.
Thanks Tim
It is not applicable to me at this point
But I have discussed this in discussions with 2 rabbis in 2 discussion groups
While we may be getting second and third opinions from doctors, one may want to get spiritual and emotional input from a pastor or rabbi
It seems like the mental, emotional, and spiritual are intertwined with important decisions and it would be helpful to make decisions with a team, rather than alone
I totally agree with your point. Human beings were not built to be alone. The more positive forces in our lives, such as the power of prayer, helps us get through any crisis. I am glad you were not diagnosed with cancer. That is a prayer answered!
Interesting post, Tim. It would take an entire blog post to address the why of it! We are today, who we are because of where we’ve been, what we’ve done…choices we made along the way, and the way we handled it all. I’m not sure I agree that we created it all. I believe everything happens for a reason, and ‘what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’, and in Divine appointments. Reflection is good. I like to start the day with 15 minutes of quiet, stilling the mind before getting into the day. Praying and reflecting become more fulfilling and more powerful after the 15 minutes.
Consuelo, I agree no one will solve the world’s problems in a 500 word blog. It sounds to me like you use reflection on a daily basis. That was my point of the article. I will just bet during your reflection you can directly trace your success back to this daily ritual. Thank you for sharing it!